How to be positive

We all struggle at one point in our lives to remain positive. We feel overwhelmed with worries, stress, continuous thoughts and fears. I for starters spent years trying to find some positivity in my life when I separated. Especially when you have to struggle so much to make ends meet, take care of your children, focus on work or improve your career, look after your home, take care of your children's extra curricular activities, their schooling and finally try and take care of yourself.  Even mentioning all these things make me feel exhausted!. At times I still wonder how I still manage all this! However, I would like to share with you a few steps I do myself which really help me to cope and to remain positive and not feel disheartened.

STEP 1: GET RID OF TOXIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE OR THOSE WHO TRY TO MANIPULATE YOU

It took me a long time to realise this, but believe me if your surroundings are not serene ones, if you don't manage to smile and feel good no matter the amount of chores you have to do, the physical and mental stress that we go through every day, how on earth can you feel good about yourself and think positive? YOU CANNOT! You will start feeling anxious, tired and demotivated. If you are in a relationship the way I see it is you either sit down with your partner and speak your heart out but still putting your foot down and demand some changes or if your partner is a Narcissist then believe me, whatever you do or say nothing will work.  You simply need to be strong enough to take a decision to break free for your sake and for your children, otherwise your will always be doomed to negativity, manipulations and emotional abuse.  The beginning might be hard and you might feel that you won't survive alone, but if your surroundings are like I am saying, then you were always alone.  So get up, stop procrastinating and make some changes! In time you will start feeling lighter and happier and you will have that CAN DO ATTITUDE!

STEP 2: ORGANISE YOUR LIFE

I always stress on this point. Since I discovered the world of being organised my life is so much better.  I have not reached a point of perfection which probably I will never reach, but I manage all my things in one day because I time manage myself and organise my thoughts, my life and everything.  If your house is full of clutter then you cannot be positive, if your work desk if full of papers and nothing is filed, how can you sit down and start your day positivilely knowing what you have to do? If your kids are running about like mad at home, how can you feel good about yourself? and ultimately how can you be good with others? Therefore, now that a new year is round the corner, take some time and sit down quietly and start making plans.  Here are a few tips for your planning.

• Activities of the week
• Weekly meal planner
• Budgeting
• Kids activities
• Plan some alone time to do something for yourself

Activities of the week: - Grab your diary and list down all your weekly activities, yours and of your children/partner or spouse.  

Week meal planner: - Write down the menu for the week, this will save you time and money when you do your shopping or when you have a busy day and the least on your mind is to think what you are going to cook. It could be fun to involve your children in the decision making.  I am sure that chicken nuggets and chips will feature somewhere:) However, this exercise will be good because you can balance the meals and you will know what you are eating.

Budgeting:  This plays a very important role about how we feel, especially if we are constantly struggling with  finances.  List down all your fixed expenses and your income. Put up an excel sheet and make sure that you list down all the  expenses you have so that you will know where you are spending most of your money. Allocate portions and I suggest you put them in envelopes sorting them out by week. For example, if you are allocating Euro 400 for food for a month, then grab 4 envelopes and name them Food - week 1 and put a Euro 100 in it so on and so forth for the rest of the month.  You need to make sure that you stick to it, or perhaps manage to save something from it.  By the end of the week there will be a feel good factor around you and around the house! 

Kids activities:   I think that many single parents go through the nightmare of taking their kids to their extra curricular activities.  At times you simply feel tired and exhausted and angry when you have a late meeting at work and you know that you still have to rush home, pick up your kids, drive them to their activities, probably wait for them or go run some errands, then go back for them and finally get home, after a long day at work and you need to start your chores and following their schooling etc.... Planning their activities and the logistics of it is a headache! However, please take control over this and if you manage to get some help from other parents and perhaps take in turns, your week is already breathable. If you do not manage to find help, please do remain positive and adjust your working hours to be able to manage things better.  If you are in employment, go speak to your boss with a plan, if you need to leave before from work to take your children somewhere, then propose a time where you can make up for the lost time.  

Alone time:  Probably this is the most important of all the above.  Positivity comes through self discipline, listening to our body, taking care of our body and relaxing mentally.  You can never re charge if you are a machine always on the go.  You need to break and find some time for yourself to recollect, to do something you like doing, whether it is reading or cooking, but I suggest to allow yourself to some physical activity. At least 3 times a week. This is the time were you will be doing something for you, where you don't hear kids whining or fighting, where you don't need to answer any calls and where you can put on some nice music and unwind. Try it out and you will how fast your moods start changing and how better you start feeling!

STEP 3: DON'T BE SCARED TO BE ALONE

This may sound the hardest of all.  No one is meant to be alone and by this I don't mean that you do not fall in love or exclude your friends, not at all! What I am saying is that being alone does not mean that you are lonely. Finding your self requires being on your own. It is important to find time 

to get to know what you like doing, what is your favorite music,  what is acceptable for you, what are your goals in life, your bucket lists etc....many times when you are in a relationship you end up getting in a routine and you end up doing things that you probably don't enjoy, or you tag along friends and it is not what makes you happy, but not to feel alone you simply follow others.  This has to stop! If you want to take control over your life and how your feel and start engaging positiveness in your life then start enjoying some time alone! ME TIME!!

I hope that you enjoyed my article. Please leave any comments, suggestions and your thoughts about this. I wish you all a happy and prosperous new year with a new positive You!